When we were in Havest School in 2016 I remember hearing Heidi Baker talk about how she learns so much from the poor.
I did not have much of a concept of what that would look like, other than seeing their incredible generosity in our time in Mozambique. Over the years I have learned a lot in working with the poor and broken. Just last month the Lord used a situation to humble me and teach me even more.
There is a women we have been working with and loving on for almost eight years in the prison. She is an addict and is lost in her sin and brokenness. Over the years we have shared the gospel with her, prayed for her to be delivered, and just spent time with her as friends. She has encountered the presence of God and at times she wants to change, but her addiction continues to rule her life.
Just the other week we realized that, after being released, she was back in prison again. I will admit, I was frustrated with her. It's so hard to want so much for people to know freedom and love and yet watch them continue to walk in addiction. I didn't know what to say to her, so I waited. I really didn't have God's love for her in that moment.
She came up to us toward the end of our visit asking for money to buy food. I was short with her and let my frustration come out. She quickly caught onto my mood and excused herself. I immediately felt awful and the Lord spoke to my heart in that moment, "That's not how we love, sweet girl." My heart broke. I knew I had treated her poorly and I needed to apologize.
We left that day and all week I was thinking of her and praying that the Lord would humble me and help me to tell her that I was sorry. The next week when we went in I saw her and asked her forgiveness. She was so gracious. She hugged me and told me she forgave me and thanked me.
The Lord taught me so much in my failure. She was so quick to forgive. I need more of the Lord's love. My love is so limited and His love is perfect.
I believe that this precious woman will be whole and healed. I believe that she will become a new creation and live for Jesus. I want to keep loving her, laying my life down and having patience for her. Jesus said the poor would always be with us and, even though it can be uncomfortable to be in relationship, it's important to receive what God has for us. He knows best, always.