Since I was born again, my desire is that everyone can know Jesus and that the good news that freed me from death is heard. I recognize that I walked in my strength, trying to share the gospel with everyone I could, but unfortunately I got exhausted. I felt that I simply had to stop, because I had believed a lie- the lie that it was me that brought others to be born again. Although I gave Glory to God from my mouth, the Spirit convincted me to examine my heart. I got so weak, to the point that I could not do any more. So, I took a week alone with Him. I let go of all kinds of distractions (cell phone, social media, "ministry", meetings), and I dedicated myself to letting go, crying out that the Lord would take away my false identity, and give me a heart in line with His heart.
I received from God and was freed from the spirit of offense, and from self-sufficiency. Depending on God was THE option, the only one, the plan. So, I began to listen very clearly. Being in my calling is what I long for the most, but all the while I continue to obey.
Well, sometimes many of us want a fantastic calling, but the harvest is ready if we only look up. My present situation is to minister in prison. It is not something that is easy for me, being really sensitive. I always came out devastated after ministering there, but God showed me in dreams and visions that I had to be in a specific place. It is the place of drug addicts, which is now called "House of Newbirth." Isn't it great to have a name like that?
God, Father you are so good. We started with a lot of faith there. We began by depending on God. We never planned much. We just felt that we were going to submit to the will of God. The group started with 4 people. Then there were about 6. We were loving and comforting them. They received the love of God. They are there because they really want to leave their addiction, and that in a sense is a great help, because they realize that they are in the wrong. But the most wonderful thing is that they are understanding that Jesus is the only one who can free them from their slavery. He is the one.
We continue to persevere there; walking in strong relationships with them, listening to them, reading the word, spending time with them. They are our family now. We see the Lord's provision that comes from faith. One day we visited them and they had nothing to eat. You know, I wanted to give them everything, but I heard from my Father that we only had to pray and when they went to the door with us someone gave money to one of them and in that moment they had enough to eat. We promised them that next time we would bring food for them. There were 6 ladies that time, so we brought 6 plates of food and when we arrived 6 more ladies had come. So, there were 12 of them and I thought how they could share, but they already had faith. We told them that we could worship God with praise and trust.
We shared with them the word in the gospels and they began to receive conviction. They had been freed from believing they were victims, and they were confessing their sins. Then they decided to eat, because they said that the most important thing was that short time that we had to learn about Jesus. The 12 ate and their plates were FULL. The moment I realized that a miracle of multiplication of food had happened, was when we were saying goodbye and they gave us 2 more plates!!! And I said "how?"
I realized that the Lord had worked a miracle of multiplication. I was very shocked that when we hear his voice we don't need to walk in strength. The harvest is ready and I don't need to be in another country to walk in obedience. Whatever is going on right now, we will be moved to where God takes us. Right now I am learning so much. I am more humbled by the Lord, that my faith is growing in many ways, my sisters and I left laughing for everything we saw in the prison. Wherever our Father wants to raise his church, he is always working.
My mindset now is- "Lord, if it is your will to take me to another nation. I will go. Take me to a city. I will go. Take me to a town. I will go. Take me to another neighborhood. I will go. Take my neighbor with me. I will go. But if, and only if, your presence goes with me. I depend totally on you. May the bride of Christ here in Bolivia rise up. I pray that the gospel is being preached and that I remain in you. This really is the first thing. But, realizing the dependence on God is too much. To worship you is to obey you!!!!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!